Hello, everyone. As you’re all aware, I do these posts to provide information you wouldn’t normally receive in your typical screenwriting class, screenwriting workshop or screenwriting course. This certainly fits that bill.
Do you all realize that although “Inception,” didn’t win many Academy awards it’s made over 850 million dollars worldwide gross box office? That’s not too shabby.
So why is it so successful? Apart from the amazing visuals, it’s a great screenplay. What makes it so amazing? It’s incredibly dense and complicated (unlike most film scripts which are deceptively simple) and yet we’re never bored and stay with the story despite lots of twists and turns we might not get on first watching it.
I know I had to see it a couple of times and read the screenplay as well to truly understand the story.
Normally, that would totally turn me off. But in this instance, it just made me want to learn more.
As we saw in the last scene from the film, exposition which abounds in the screenplay, is doled in pieces and oftentimes hidden when conflict is high. Exposition can easily kill a scene because the audience has to sit there and hear a bunch of explanation rather than continue to see the story unfolding. So hiding exposition is one of the most important things a screenwriting has to learn.
Here is more exposition that gets snuck into the scene as Cobb has to make a big decision. Does he take this impossible job or not? First he completely refuses to attempt Inception. Now, Saito offers him the one thing he can’t refuse – to get back to the U.S. to see his children.
EXT. AIRFIELD – MOMENTS LATER
The helicopter sets down next to a private jet.
INT. HELICOPTER
Saito indicates the plan.
SAITO
Tell the crew where you want to go, they’ll file the plan en route.
Cobb and Arthur look at each other. Then move for the door.
SAITO
Mr. Cobb…? There is one thing I could offer you.
(Cobb stops)
How would you like to go home? To America.
To your children.
Cobb turns back to Saito.
COBB
You can’t fix that. Nobody could.
SAITO
Just like Inception.
Cobb considers this. Arthur touches his arm.
ARTHUR
Cobb, come on –
COBB
How complex is the idea?
SAITO
Simple enough.
COBB
No idea’s simple when you have to plant it in someone else’s mind.
SAITO
My main competitor is an old man in poor health.
His son will soon inherit control of the corporation.
I need him to decide to break up his father’s empire.
Against his own self-interest.
ARTHUR
Cobb, we should walk away from this.
COBB
If I were to do it. If I could do it… how do I know you can deliver?
SAITO
You don’t. But I can. So do you want to take a leap
of faith, or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone?
Cobb looks at Saito. Barely nods.
SAITO
Assemble your team, Mr. Cobb. And choose your team wisely.
You see what I mean by sneaking in exposition. We learn what the plot will revolve around – convincing the son
of a very wealthy industrialist to break up his father’s empire when the father is gone. We barely realize we’re getting
this exposition. The film doesn’t stop dead in its tracks as we’re more focused on Cobb, who finally takes the bait.
Now in screenwriting terms we will enter Act 2 – the reluctant Hero accepts the challenge and goes on the journey.
We’ll see another scene from Inception next week.
Until then – KEEP WRITING!
Hello, everyone. As you all know I try and present material that you don’t normally get in your typical screenwriting course, screenwriting class or screenwriting workshop. Today, let’s take a minute and think about the value of looking at these scenes every week from great screenwriters, who are writing films for today’s marketplace.
Not only am I attempting to point out tricks of the screenwriting trade – pointers or lessons we all can learn from in these scenes – but I’m also trying to accomplish something else – not just for you – but for me as well.
The more we read the best of what Hollywood has to offer, the more we are inspired to elevate the skill of our own writing.
Our standards need to be incredibly high. We should never give ourselves justifications for not writing the very best that we can.
This is why I teach private screenwriting workshops. Because I want to hold every writer – and myself included – to the highest standards possible. And we never let out a script go out until we’re convinced it’s as good as it can possibly be.
There comes a point with every screenplay that you’ve looked at it too many times and you can’t see it objectively anymore. So you need a new pair of eyes to help you understand how to make it even better.
Make sure you’re getting really good feedback, hopefully from a professional who will not let you get away with mediocre or sub-mediocre work. It has to be great.
Art as I’ve talked about previously art is not about pure skill – it’s about having enough skill to communicate the emotional moments you want to convey to the audience. Skill is not the end goal – but you need to have enough of it to make your audience feel what your characters are experiencing moment to moment.
We will continue to read and discuss the best work that I can find. In the meantime, locate a screenwriting workshop that will inspire you to push your material to the highest level of writing you are capable of.
If you’re in Los Angeles, ask me about my screenwriting workshops. If not in Los Angeles, keep working on your craft and getting consultations with professionals who will guide you. Don’t accept mediocrity.
I hope I can help.
Until then – KEEP WRITING!
Remember this. That the person who reads your script has read many, many scripts. He or she knows what a professional screenplay should read and sound like.
It shouldn’t feel like a first draft. Every sentence has to have energy and rhythm and punch. It’s not just the dialogue that has to connect with the reader – the narrative is equally as important. The sentences should have a style and tone that match the genre of the film you’re writing.
Shane Black began this new awareness of writing exciting narrative with “Lethal Weapon,” and even more so with “The Last Boy Scout,” which sold for many millions of dollars in a bidding war.
What excited the readers of this screenplay was the voice of the writer – the strength of his narrative.
Every screenplay should have a voice – you should feel like a distinctive voice is talking to you and that voice should be very compelling.
Once again, I’m quoting from the following book, where I wrote a chapter about writing great film narrative:
“Now WRITE! SCREENWRITING”
Screenwriting Exercises From Today’s Best Writers and Teachers
Edited by Sherry Ellis and Laurie Lamson – a Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin Book
The following exercise will help you get the hang of writing energetic film narrative.
EXERCISES:
Take the opening description of your screenplay, where you describe the setting and the characters:
1. Take the action words – the verbs – and see if you can make them even stronger and more visual. Instead of “He falls on the floor,” find a stronger way to say that. For example, “He gets splattered on the floor.”
2. When you introduce your protagonist find a great and succinct line or two to really nail who he or she is. Instead of describing your hero in general terms, give us an indelible impression. This is an example from FACE/OFF: “Jo Archer…older…unshaven…fatigued…his EYES reveal a man in the grip of obsession.
3. This is a description of Dexter’s sister from the TV show of the same name: “And we see DEBRA (twenties) dressed as a classic cheap shore, her shapely body shrink-wrapped tight in a pink neon tube top, miniskirt, fishnet stockings and high heels, talking into her cell phone.”
4. Break up the action into shots. Stay away from big, thick paragraphs.
5. Give us interesting visual images to look at. Your job as a screenwriter is to write in visual images. Figure out what your scene is about visually and then find the central visual image that tells the story of that scene. If you do this correctly, the scene will write itself and the dialogue will come easily.
6. Find a rhythm to your narrative. If it’s a hard-boiled detective story, find a short, tough way to describe the action. If it’s an off-the-wall comedy, find a way to make the reader laugh or at least smile on page one.
7. Make it easy to read and follow. Don’t throw more than a few characters at us in the first scene. Make sure we know who the protagonist is and what genre this is: Is it action? Is it a comedy? Is it a dark comedy? I want to know that just by reading the first page.
What’s crucial in this exercise is that your attention is drawn away from the fact that you’re writing for yourself and instead becomes focused on the fact that you’re writing to amuse, entertain and /or delight the reader. Every sentence, every word is there for a reason.
If the first page vibrates with energy and skill, then the reader has a great first impression of your screenplay. Put all your writing ability into that first scene. If done correctly, it will pave the way for your success.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this attention we’re putting on the narrative. We will continue with great scene writing in the weeks to come.
Until then – KEEP WRITING!
Hello, everyone. I was just published in a screenwriting book: “Now WRITE! SCREENWRITING” — Screenwriting Exercises From Today’s Best Writers and Teachers.
I wrote a chapter devoted to writing Great Film Narrative: Chapter 14: It’s The Read – Writing Great Film Narrative.
I thought you might enjoy some of the lessons I laid out for making description (also called narrative) as powerful as possible.
Unfortunately, most beginning screenwriters focus on the dialogue – which is fine, but the narrative is equally as important.
Writing great film narrative is usually one of the last skills the professional screenwriter learns – as the narrative in a script should be as compelling and fun to read as the dialogue.
So the following is what I wrote in this book. I hope it helps you to beef up your narrative – as the read of a script is what tells the agent, producer, manager how professional of a writer you actually are:
“The most common mistake I come across in reading the many scripts I analyze is that the film narrative for descriptive passages are tedious and lack energy.
As a screenwriting gets more and more professional, he or she realizes that the read is everything. What do I mean by that?
The narrative is not written with style or energy, it’s just pedantic, it’s way too long or it’s confusing. The writer seems to be over-describing every stage direction rather than honing it down to crystal clarity; so that we get the entire mood of the scene or what a place looks like or who a character is in one line.
So what gets in the way of a great read? Big locks of narrative.
Make every paragraph reflect a different shot: Here’s Bill, and he’s sighting in on the target. Next paragraph is Mary, who’s running for cover. Next paragraph is Mary’s mother, who screams for her to get down.
Clumsy narrative lines, “A raging fire burns through the building and brightly lights the fire crew trying to tame it.”’
That’s okay, but a little awkward and not as visual as it could be. The writer rewrites this to read: “A raging fire burns through J.R.’s building. It has turned night to day and lights the sky.”
Narrative lines in a screenplay are not comparable to prose in a novel. We want short, pithy images. More like you’re reading a poem.
Here’s an example:
“Amusement park rides glisten against a bright blue sky, and the weather’s just fine.
Come closer. Teens shrieking by on the roller coaster, bikini-clad bladers, wide eyed tourists from the Midwest munching corn dogs – can’t believe this is March.
Enter a balding tourist in a loud Hawaiian shirt. He’s barely a blip on the radar screen as he wanders over to a telescope, deposits a quarter. We take a look, too – “
This is a description of the Santa Monica pier on a spring day. It’s got energy and pacing and great images.
If you’re interested in purchasing this book, please visit:
http://www.tarcherbooks.com/
Next week I’ll give you some exercises from this book to help you achieve better narrative writing.
Until then – KEEP WRITING!